A saying that every college student will utter at some point during their four year career at any given university.
“I should be writing a paper but…”
A saying that I find myself repeating as I’m creating this blog.
I’m your not-so-typical college student. Sure I procrastinate, stay up late, and love Whataburger. But I also spent my last Friday night in my dorm room, watching TV and not writing my paper; while the Freshman down the hall are coming in stumbling drunk from their last GRΣΣK sexcapade.
I’m the Resident Assistant in an all female freshman hall. And after three years of living in the same place, it hasn’t changed a bit-only problem is I have. I never lived the lives that these girls do, but I did find entertainment in it just a year ago. And yet I can’t stand seeing the faces of the hungover freshman coming in the dorm at noon wearing the shirt of the lucky frat boy they fucked last night.
And the worst is, I can’t tell myself “its ok that they look ridiculous now, one day they will end up working for me or just a complete loser” because they wont. Each one of these girls will either complete their highly coveted M.R.S. degree or live off of their parent’s hard earned money for the rest of their lives.
Sometimes I wish I could live the lives of these girls. Just party all the time not worrying about what I’ll face tomorrow or even in ten years. Sleeping with whoever I want, drinking as much as I’d like, and knowing that regardless of what I do there will always be a boy out there that would kill to be with me.
But then I sit down and think. I want to change the world. Maybe not save Darfur or stop global warming- but I want to make a difference in people’s lives. And these girls can’t do that. Well besides making a difference in whether or not I will get to sleep on a Saturday night instead of giving out 4 alcohol violations.
So as you can see, I am like a zebra competing in the Kentucky Derby. I stick out like a sore thumb, at times it is a blessing-others a curse; but even still I stick to my guns and stay true to who I am and want to be.
The only problem is…I’m not quite sure who that is.
I guess thats what college is for.